A few years ago I was invited to a disability related conference in Kyoto, Japan. The event was only a weekend long and needed different voices to contribute to an ongoing declaration on ‘SRHR and Disability in Asia.’ I was one of the most active voices for disability rights within reproductive rights in Pakistan hence my involvement made sense. Japan sounded so exciting. For a list of reasons: Cherry Blossoms, Ghibli, Memoirs of a Geisha, The homeland of Samurai Jack, Sushi The place where the Tokyo Drift happened! The place where Uma Thurman kicks ass! The list could go on but none of it mattered because there would be no time to be a ‘tourist’. This is a work trip. Hence I prepared myself for ‘nothingness’.
But traveling is anything but ‘Nothingness’.
Osaka: Where the Chaos Began
And so when I landed in Osaka, my chain of unexpected events began. I realised I had brought the wrong charger for my new phone hence needed to purchase a new one. I picked a cute pink wire at the airport only to realise none of my credit cards are working and the kiosk does not accept USDs which is the currency I carry when I travel. Infact USDs will not be expected anywhere and I needed to find a money exchanger soon. I took a deep breath and went ahead with the plan to board a prepaid train to Kyoto where the taxi would pick me up and take me to the hotel where I can rest and figure out my phone situation before the event and also prepare for the presentation the next day.
I reached my hotel pretty late and was more hungry than excited. I dumped my luggage and headed out to get some food only to find all restaurants closed. I found a convenience store and picked a few snacks only for my credit card not working. The store owner was kind enough to let me take them but I left my passport with a promise to pay the next day. I opened the wasabi chips and the first bite made me feel I am truly in Japan. This incident itself felt like a story I would be telling my friends but what followed next was more bizarre.
My room had a perfect minimal style layout but the bathroom had a surprise for me. I could change the commode seat temperature. You read that right! I could even put it on vibrate mode. You read that right too. Japan was surprising me already.
Wheeling Into Kyoto
Night came. Sleep happened. But no phone was charged due to no cable. The next morning I decided to ‘wheel’ to the venue which was not too far. My phone was active but without any signals. I also didn’t have time to eat breakfast at the hotel so I left early. But on the way I saw Kyoto waking up to sunrise. Clean streets below a clear blue sky and the inhabitants and their morning routines, pausing to wave at me and I waved back at them. (In hopes they might invite me in for a meal?).
I reached my venue, registered and began my participation but half way through I could feel my stomach gurgling, my mind zoning out and my focus shifting to images of Sushi until I saw a very handsome mongolian man come up to the podium to speak. I wanted to know him, his dreams, his name.
‘Hi my name is Bazooka!’, he said and it took a moment for his name to land on me.
I couldn’t wait for lunch time. I mean I am in Japan and I love Japanese cuisine. I went to get my per diem from the organizer which to my shock was only possible if I had an ID which I had left at the shop remember? I pleaded my case and the organizers gave me half of it. I moved from one corner of the venue to the other to find nothing appropriate either halal or vegetarian. The only option was boiled rice with seaweed. Later I saw Bazooka having lunch but went the other way because I was too hungry to talk to him. I tried to distract myself and roamed around the bookshop where every book was in Japanese. I desperately waited for the event to end so I could head out to have Sushi.
The event for the day finally came to an end but I had a bigger problem than hunger. My charger for the wheelchair had stopped working which I also noticed in the morning but dismissed it thinking the plug might be loose but having charged it again at the venue there were still no changes. My battery was flagging yellow rather than green which is the only red flag I look for.
Here I could see my plans crumbling. I decided to use the money to get a taxi back to the hotel. As I write this article, I have no memory of what Kyoto actually looks like because my hunger has taken over my senses. I don’t know what I saw, what I passed other than the few old people who waved at me earlier. When I reached my hotel, I had a decision to make. I either save my battery or head out to find a money exchanger, get some real dinner and get my passport back.
It’s my battery vs bhook vs the uncertainty of tomorrow vs if only I wasn’t in a wheelchair thoughts vs aisi ki taisi!
The Sushi Mission
I made up my mind; Today I will have Sushi in Japan and not even Japan can stop me. I headed out with a yellow blinking battery in my face first to the shop to pay the kind uncle and get my passport, I then headed out to find a Sushi place which isn’t as simple as in other countries. They do not deliver because they want to serve it fresh.
I found a place that seemed more like a family owned restaurant. I was immediately welcomed in, given a table with my wheelchair parked on the side and I ordered a simple salmon roll. The first few bites hit the umami notes exactly where they needed to. I finally had a proper meal in Japan and now I was ready to pay and face the next day and whatever it would bring. I reached my hotel with a tummy full, empty pocket and with my battery now in red. I went to bed totally uncertain of what tomorrow would look like.
The next day was the last event day and my battery was full in red but I still started wheeling slowly to the venue. Miraculously I reached the venue and thats when my wheelchair completely gave up. I am not even surprised about this part anymore because as a Muslim Ive always taken Allah’s help for granted and know that it will come when all paths seem blocked. This time I was inches away from my organizers and I could ask for help.
It was a lovely last day where I remained hungry again but the conversations and connections filled my heart. The organizers helped me reach back to my hotel by pushing my wheelchair manually. When I reached the hotel, I used the rest of the money to order a pizza and to book a taxi for the next day that would take me straight to the airport for my flight.
What Nothingness Taught Me
Today I write this from Sweden, sipping boba and reminiscing my memories of Japan and the supposed ‘Nothingness’. I could just write this story around the challenge of finding sushi in Japan. But the actual substance of the article is in a question I had to ask myself about making decisions between two points that are unique to me. I am a human with human needs but I come with a battery with battery needs. This time it was:
Bhook vs my Battery
Human Need vs Machine need.
Both are MY needs
But who am I? Human or Machine?
A weekend that was meant to be about nothingness helped me open up a corridor in my mind about possibilities and the ability to take risks and go on adventures. But also consider my needs and limitations. Turns out everything is possible and life does happen in between common sense and miracles.
As for Japan, I will be back (For the heated toilet seat Duh!)
-T